Therapy has been an instrumental part of my emotional growth. It’s not that I don’t still feel anxious, but I feel like I know how to deal with it. I can name it, claim it, and own it now, rather than it owning me. Part of that anxiety is the feeling that I am never doing enough. This feeling of perpetual disappointment has been forever holding me back. It doesn't leave much room for much else. And let me tell you it feels good to make room for other things.
Curiosity is something that I’ve been wanting to explore in myself. I don't question things enough and I think that allowing myself this space will help me in what I'm doing here on brownbelle and personally in my day-to-day. So this year I've been challenging myself to be more curious about the people, places, and things that I find interesting. I also started journaling to force myself to be more reflective. Most times my mind is already moving on to the next things before I'm ready. Imagine listening to once song playing and right when you get into it another song starts playing until you have five songs of all different genres playing at once. Yup, it’s annoying. You're annoying Mariama!
In addition to being curious and reflecting I am pumping the breaks on my pace a bit. I am filled with ideas constantly, I can find inspiration almost anywhere. But I am one human woman. I cannot do everything I want to do all at once and still do it well. So there will be less content here but it will be better quality and I will remain sane (mostly), motivated, and hopefully more present.
Stay curious, reflective, and present my friends.